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Exclusive: Coincidence, or conspiracy?

Suspiciously, New Jersey emails come back-to-back

 

We received notice that rocker Willie Nile added an Asheville, NC date to his upcoming tour, and uncovered this message, from New Jersey-ite and Springsteen guitarist Little Steven VanZandt (who, BTW, isn’t “little” at all) hidden in the excellent photography and obfuscated by quotes from reliable sources like the London Times, Rolling Stone, the New Yorker, and Elmore Magazine.

Just minutes later, we received yet another email containing a link to a video in which Dennis MC Do No Ugh, an admitted native Jersey-ite, sings specifically about New Jersey, and names New Jersey names for over six minutes. MC Do No Ugh, who also goes by Dennis McDonough, often refers to himself as a “Garden State-er.” What is it that he doesn’t want us to know?

Dennis McDonough

And why is this video so funny? Check out the

Dennis Mc Do No Ugh video:

Then look at the whole Willie Nile poster and his tour schedule–he’s playing benefits for the 18th annual Light of Day (Parkinson’s Disease benefit) events in—you guessed it—Asbury Park, NJ in January, 2018. Decide for yourself.

Fake news? Or is it a precursor to a takeover of the Empire State—and perhaps the Nation—by the vegan-sounding “Garden” State? Why did my NJ-raised mother constantly tell me to eat my vegetables? Some believe that NJ already has subterranean tunnels providing Jersey-ites access to Manhattan.

Think about it. You can never be too careful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Comment on Coincidence, or conspiracy?

  1. Dear Elmore Magazine,

    Who’s responsible? What are you implying here? (What am i denying here?) Whatever the matter, it’s not true or i’m guilty as charged. (Either way, please don’t tell The Boss!) But know this:”If charged i will run! If convicted i will not serve!” Conspiracy, or Coincidence? Well, which is it? Make up your mind and mine! You tell me. Just remember this: “If i can’t coincidance you can keep your conspiracy!” and “If i can’t dance conspicuously then you can keep your coincidence!” too. But why must we choose? (You choose you lose!) Why not have it both ways? (Like cake!) Perhaps you’ve read “A Confederacy Of Dunces” (1980) by John Kennedy Toole? Well, this could be “A Conspiracy Of Coincidences!” i’ll dance to that! Happy Holidaze.

    Yours, Truly, Knee Deep In The Willie Nile “Conspiracy!”
    ,
    Dennis MC DoNoUgh! (aka)
    Dennis McOnspiracy?
    Dennis McOincidence!
    Dennis McDancer
    Blue Sprucesteen
    InSANiTY Claus!
    ELFish Presley!
    Johnny Cash Cow
    Bovine Diddley
    Repeat Seeger
    etc., et al . . .